Crime & Passion Read online

  “Damn. Suzie.”

  “Oh, yeah, her.” Madeline rolled her eyes. “Forgot about her already, did you?”

  “Maddie, I promise this isn’t what you think it is.” He glanced over his shoulder at Chief Stone’s open office door. “But this isn’t the place to talk about it.”

  Well, he did have a point. If they were trying to keep the relationship secret from Stone, the police station was hardly the appropriate location for this discussion. “Fine. What should we do?”

  “Take me to get my clothes, and then we’ll go to your house to talk. If you don’t want me to stay with you after that, I promise I’ll let you take me to a hotel or something.”

  Madeline sighed. “Either that, or I can drive you to Suzie’s house.” Although the woman got under Madeline’s skin, there had to be something about her to admire.

  There must be, if Donovan wanted to marry her.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Donovan didn’t know how to convince Madeline she was wrong about Suzie. He’d tried to start a conversation in the car, but she turned the radio up loudly, drowning out his words as they drove to his apartment. She’d waited outside while he packed his clothes.

  By the time he made it back down to the car, she sang along with a country song. The look on her face was anything but happy. At least she hadn’t left him there.

  Without asking her permission, he brought his duffle bag into her apartment building, gripping it in his hand as they waited for the elevator door to open. No matter what she had in mind, he would not be leaving her alone with a killer on the loose.

  The elevator opened and Madeline walked inside first. She pressed the button for the seventh floor and folded her arms across her chest. Her body language screamed anger, and Donovan wished he knew exactly what Suzie told her.

  “Can we talk now?” he asked softly.

  She shook her head. “When we get inside my house. We don’t need my neighbors to witness another yelling match.”

  Donovan looked up, watching the numbers light up above the elevator door as they passed through the different floors. If she intended to scream at him, this night might not go quite like he’d planned.

  Once on her floor, she unlocked the apartment door and motioned for him to precede her into the room. He walked into the living room and set his bag on the floor, wondering how difficult she was going to make things.

  Damn Suzie. That woman would not quit! At least she’d only been with Maddie in the police station. Donovan didn’t quite trust her or what she would do if she ever got Maddie alone.

  Madeline brushed past him and sat on the edge of her chair. She faced him with an expectant look on her face. “Alright. Explain. Why will your fiancée understand you staying at my house instead of hers?”

  “Suzie’s not my fiancée.” Donovan shifted on the couch and tugged the collar of his shirt. He didn’t know why he felt so nervous. Maybe because he wasn’t used to opening himself up to people. “I’d consider her more of a stalker than anything.”

  “A stalker?” Madeline rolled her eyes. “Look, Donovan, you don’t have to pretend with me. I’m trying to understand what’s going on, but you have to quit lying to me.”

  “You think I’m lying?” Donovan felt his face flush, and he tried to keep his voice calm. Why would she automatically assume he was the one lying? If Madeline cared about him, why believe Suzie’s word over his? “Suzie told you we were engaged to cause problems for me. She’s jealous of you.”

  “Jealous?” Madeline let out a short bark of laughter. “What a joke. She’s the one playing slap and tickle with you, not me!”

  “What do you mean? I’ve never been with Suzie. Well, we dated for a while.”

  Madeline snorted. “Yeah, dated.”

  “We only dated. I promise.” He sat on the couch adjacent to her and took her hand in his. “I told you, Maddie. I’m working on things. I’m trying to be a better m—”

  “Oh, Donovan. Shut up!” She jerked her hand out of his.

  “What the hell is your problem?”

  “I talked to Suzie yesterday,” she said, her voice lowered to a terse whisper. “You were getting dressed when I called. She told me how quickly you undressed, too.”

  Donovan felt as though Maddie punched him in the gut. All this time, he’d been pouring his heart out to her, telling her his dreams of having true love and starting a family, and she believed he slept with Suzie Stone?

  “I never even knew you called my house yesterday.” He took a few deep breaths. “I was asleep when she showed up on my doorstep, that’s why I needed to get dressed. Not because I had sex with her.”

  “It was nearly noon when I called.”

  “I slept in late because I was up until five-thirty.” He studied his hands before continuing. “I couldn’t quit thinking about you.”

  “Stop saying those things.” She stood up, breathing deeply. Her hands formed fists as fresh tears leaked from the corners of her eyes. “If you spend so much time thinking about me, why aren’t I good enough for you? Why will you sleep with any woman except me?”

  I made her feel like she’s not good enough for me? Donovan jumped out of his chair and threw his arms around her, pulling her tight against his chest. “Oh, darling. How could you believe that?”

  Madeline struggled against him, trying to push him away, but he held her tighter. He brought his mouth to hers, kissing her with every ounce of passion he could. He tasted the saltiness of tears on her lips.

  She stood stiffly, no longer struggling, but also not responding.

  Donovan broke off the kiss and put his mouth next to her ear. “Is that really what you thought was going on?” he asked, emotion thickening his voice. “This has all been about you, Maddie. I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anyone in my whole life.”

  Her body relaxed slightly against his. “I don’t understand.”

  “I’m not with Suzie.” He took a step back, framing her face in his hands as he gazed into her eyes. “You’re the woman I’ve been talking about. You’re the woman I want to change for. You’re the sexiest person I have ever been around.” He brushed his lips against hers. “You are everything I’ve been waiting for.”

  “Really?” she whispered, her lip trembling slightly.

  “Really. I want to take things slow, so I don’t screw this up like I have everything else in my life.”

  She stroked her fingers across his shoulder and down his arm, staring into his eyes. “I’ve been so confused these past few days.”

  “And I couldn’t figure out why you were upset. I wish you’d said something sooner.”

  “Well, I thought I knew what you meant.” She grinned. “Come on, aren’t you used to unreasonable women in your life by now?”

  Donovan laughed. “Until now, I never cared what any of them thought.”

  Madeline’s arms snaked around him. She took his bottom lip into her mouth, opening up to him now. Her hands ran through his hair, tickling the back of his neck. The floral scent mixed with sandalwood of her perfume flowed around them, and Donovan slid his mouth off hers to nuzzle her neck.

  She sucked in an audible breath and dug her fingers into his back as he kissed her neck. Almost involuntarily, his hand slid up her side. He slipped it into the small area between their bodies and ran his fingers over her breasts, grazing the nipples tenderly.

  She moaned softly and Donovan’s pants bulged when she rubbed her body against his. He attacked her neck with his teeth and lips, delighting in the shudder that raced through her.

  “I want to rip your clothes off and throw you on the floor,” he said, his voice husky.

  “What’s stopping you?” she panted, as her chest heaved against his.

  He stepped carefully back from her, his breathing ragged. He knew he might regret this, but he really did want to change his normal pattern with women.

  “I think we should wait. It’s going to be hard to hold off very long, though.” He stroked his hand acr
oss her cheek, kissing her lips softly one more time. “I want to get to know each other, build something real.”

  Madeline grinned and smoothed her hair against her head. “Okay. I’ll go along with that. Besides, it would be a nice change to talk to each other when we both understand what’s going on.”

  He shook his head and grabbed her hand. “I’m sorry all this time you thought I was talking about Suzie. I had no idea.”

  “It’s not your fault.” She raised his hand to her mouth, kissing his palm. “Well, on second thought, it actually is your fault. You have quite the reputation.” She twisted her mouth into a smile and shrugged.

  He laughed, glad she seemed back to her normal self. “I want to change that image though.”

  She nodded. “I’ll try to be fair and judge you based on your actions from this point forward, not your past. But I haven’t had the best experiences with men. My fiancé really ruined my life for a while. I don’t want to feel pain like that again.”

  “I promise not to hurt you.”

  She gave him a long look, not saying anything, and Donovan wondered if she believed him. He did understand why she might not trust him. Over time, he knew he could prove his sincerity to her. He’d do everything he could to make this work.

  “It’s been a long day, so far,” she finally said. “If this is going to be based on more than lust, we need to do some talking. Why don’t we order in a pizza and get to know each other better?”

  ***

  “So,” Madeline concluded, grabbing a slice of pizza off the coffee table and tucking her legs beneath her, “that’s why I don’t like the name Maddie.”

  It had cost a lot to explain Maddie McFatty to Donovan, but she liked the idea of having something more with him than a fling.

  Next to her, Donovan swallowed the food in his mouth and placed his hand on her thigh, squeezing softly. “That had to be painful, especially since it was your dad who called you that.”

  Madeline tried to ignore the tingles of sensation running from the tips of Donovan’s fingers straight to her happy place. Now that she knew he wanted her too, she wondered if they would keep things out of the bedroom very long. She’d never been so ready to move things to the next level in her life.

  Which is ridiculous. You don’t even know him very well. Talking. We’re talking right now, and that’s all.

  She forced herself to concentrate on her story instead of his hand. “It wouldn’t have been so bad, but the kids at school heard him once, and then everyone called me Maddie McFatty. My dad didn’t mean any harm by it.” She shrugged and picked pieces of pineapple off her pizza, setting them in the napkin next to her. “Dad always told me I was beautiful. Somehow, for him, it was a term of endearment.”

  Donovan shook his head. “He should have thought that one out a bit better.” His gaze fell to her napkin and he frowned. “Why didn’t you tell me you don’t like pineapple?”

  His concern touched her. Cameron had never worried about things like that. “You’re stressing over nothing. I’m used to picking off toppings I don’t like.”

  “Why?” His eyes narrowed and his voice had a sharp edge to it. “Your ex didn’t think he should concern himself with what you wanted?”

  She shouldn’t have said anything. “It’s not a big deal.”

  “Tell me about it,” he insisted.

  “Well, Cameron liked combination pizza, and I don’t like mushrooms or onions.” She tried to fake a laugh, like it didn’t really matter.

  “So he should have ordered half without it. What was wrong with that man?”

  Madeline tossed the pizza slice back into the box, suddenly not feeling hungry. She looked out the window toward the ocean, not daring to meet Donovan’s eyes. “Cameron didn’t let me eat more than one slice, so there was no reason to take things off the rest of it.”

  “He didn’t let you?”

  Madeline squirmed in her seat. “He...He said that, that I might...” She swallowed hard. “I might get fat again, and then he wouldn’t be able to...marry me.” Heat rushed to her cheeks as she wondered if Donovan would feel the same way.

  “That shallow son-of-a-bitch.”

  She thought about that. Cameron was a son-of-a-bitch, but he was trying to run for city council. A councilman couldn’t have a fat wife. “Cameron had his image to think about.” She found the courage to meet Donovan’s eyes again. “Most men do.”

  “Bullshit.” Donovan grabbed a hold of her shoulder and pulled her across his chest, clutching her to him.

  His body shook beneath hers, and Madeline heard him grinding his teeth. His hand stroked up and down her back in an agitated manner.

  “If you love someone, you always love them,” he finally said. “Is the man blind? How could he not see how beautiful you are? Weight wouldn’t change that. Cameron’s an asshole.”

  Madeline smiled, suddenly feeling much better. “I didn’t think about it that way at the time. He offered to marry me, and I never expected a proposal from anyone. I was grateful.”

  “You could have done better than him. What about other boyfriends?”

  “Get real, Donovan. You know what turns a man on.” She twisted her hands together, gathering the courage to go on. “It isn’t a girl who’s one hundred pounds too heavy.”

  “That doesn’t matter to all guys.”

  She sat up and shoved him lightly away from her. Although it was the right thing for him to say, it irritated her in a way. If she were still Maddie McFatty, Donovan wouldn’t have looked twice at her. “Of course it matters.”

  He opened his mouth, looking like he wanted to argue further.

  Donovan might think he was above that, but Madeline had lived it. She knew how people looked at her, the whispers, the jokes at her expense. She silenced him with a kiss, not wanting to hear anymore about it. “Let’s change the subject, please.”

  “Fine. But you are wrong.”

  Madeline shook her head, but didn’t say more.

  Donovan leaned forward and grabbed one of the plastic forks. He used it to push pineapple off three slices of pizza and placed them on a paper plate, handing them to her. “Eat up.”

  “I can’t possibly eat that much,” she protested.

  Donovan took one piece off, taking a bite out of it before handing her the other two.

  Madeline accepted the plate. It would be nice to have meals with someone who didn’t count her calories and carbs, telling her what she could and couldn’t eat.

  They ate in silence, and Madeline enjoyed every bite of her pineapple-free pizza. “Thanks,” she said, setting the plate on top of the empty pizza box.

  “It’s what any good boyfriend would do.”

  She slipped her hand into his and rested her head against his shoulder. “Alright, Donovan. It’s your turn to share. Tell me something about your past.”

  “Well, especially after finding Maria today, there’s something that’s been weighing heavy on my mind. It’s something that happened twelve years ago.”

  “Tell me.”

  He heaved a heavy sigh. “Madeline, you just had dinner with a murderer.”

  ***

  “What?”

  Donovan heard the shock in Madeline’s voice. He couldn’t blame her, not really. “It happened back in Los Angeles.” He shook his head. “I shouldn’t say murderer, but I did kill a kid.”

  She squeezed his hand in a reassuring manner instead of pulling away from him. That had to count for something.

  “How did it happen?”

  The kid’s hazel eyes flashed through his mind, turning glassy as the life flowed out of the boy.

  “His name was Benny Stark. He was only thirteen years old.” Donovan took in a shaky breath, willing his tears to stay away. “My partner and I tried to stop him on a routine traffic violation. We didn’t know that he was joyriding in a stolen car. He sped off, and suddenly we were involved in a high-speed chase.”

  “That had to be dangerous for everyone around.” />
  Donovan nodded. “That’s why we backed off from him a ways. We didn’t want him to be so reckless that he took out some innocent family or something.” A tear escaped anyway, and Madeline wiped it off with a gentle fingertip. “I don’t think he’d done much driving before. Maybe he got lost, I don’t know. He turned down an alleyway that stopped in a dead end.”

  “So you had him trapped.”

  “Yeah.” The smells of that dank alley filled Madeline’s living room. Rotting garbage and mold, with a strong undertone of piss and body odor from the homeless man living there. “We stopped about a hundred feet away and hopped out of our car. He pulled something out of his pocket and pointed it at us.”

  “Oh no! He had a gun?”

  Donovan shook his head. “That’s what we thought. Not that unusual in LA. With all the gang activity, I’ve seen eight-year-olds packing heat. We dove behind the doors of the car for protection and pulled our own weapons.”

  Donovan stopped talking. The next few minutes of time were forever etched into his brain. Donovan—the badass tough guy who no one messed with—faced with a punk teenager holding a gun. It all happened so fast. His partner yelled at Benny to drop his weapon. Benny screamed at them to back off or he’d kill his first pig.

  Donovan never talked about what happened that day. His partner had written up the report and defended Donovan’s actions. He merely signed off on it, agreeing with what the other man said.

  He couldn’t even make himself speak to the counselor about it, though he went to the mandatory sessions over the next six weeks. He didn’t know if he could say the words out loud even now. A sob ripped from his throat.

  Madeline put her hand over his heart, patting him. “You had to shoot him, didn’t you?” She said it matter of fact, as though she had no doubt in the world that Donovan was forced into that position. “He wouldn’t drop the gun, would he?”

  “It wasn’t a gun, Maddie!” The words ripped from his throat and the tears flowed freely. “It was a fucking cell phone!” He wrapped his arms around Madeline, burying his face in her hair.