Always & Forever Read online

  She buried her face in her hands. “Damn you, Charles. Damn you for ruining my life.”

  The box Zach tossed out of his pocket slid along the bed, coming to rest at her hip. Lilly picked it up with trembling hands and flipped the lid open. Enormous teardrop-shaped sapphire earrings, studded by miniature diamonds, glinted from a nest of black suede. It was the first time anyone gave her jewelry.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Zach seethed with impotent rage thirty minutes later when he joined his parents in the living room. He really thought Lilly was the one, the girl of his dreams. During his marriage to Victoria, Zach clung to the belief he had a soul mate out there somewhere, someone who would truly love him.

  From the moment he’d met her, Zach felt as if Lilly was that woman. He’d tried to deny it to himself for three months, but something changed the night of the boat party. It changed even more when she told him her story. The feel of her in his arms, the exhilaration of making love to her—other experiences paled by comparison.

  And Charles ruined her. She would never trust, never love. Zach couldn’t reach beyond her shield of doubt and anger, and he constantly made wrong choices and hurt her.

  “Things okay, son? Where’s Lilly.”

  Zach looked into his father’s concerned eyes and shook his head. “She’s not real happy with me right now, Dad. She’ll be down soon.” I hope.

  “Well,” his mother said, “bad breeding will always tell, if you ask me. I’ve met Katherine’s father. Lying little cheat is what that man is. I’m not surprised she’s been lying to us all this time.”

  Zach’s heart sank. Lilly was right—right about his mother’s reaction, right about his cowardice in lying about his marriage. She was certainly right about the fact that he should have talked to her before telling his family.

  “Mother, please stop.” Zach ran a hand through his hair and willed her to be silent. “Lilly hasn’t done anything wrong, and I shouldn’t have told you about her past.”

  Sarah gasped from the doorway. “Zach, you didn’t.”

  Zach jerked his head to look where Sarah, Steven, and Savannah stood inside the entry. “Yeah, I did.”

  “Something’s wrong with my Aunt Lilly?” Savannah asked. Her lower lip trembled.

  Zach crossed the room and picked her up. “Uncle Zach was naughty and she’s a little angry right now, Princess, that’s all. Don’t worry.” He fought against the tears stinging his eyes, and hoped he hadn’t just lied to Savannah.

  She struggled against his side and he released her. Savannah put her hands on her hips, and her pink dress swirled around her little legs. “Did you appoleragize?”

  Zach shook his head. “No, Princess, not yet.”

  She tapped her toe against the floor and glared up at him.

  “But I’m going to,” he assured her. “I need to wait for her to calm down a little first.”

  She nodded, seeming satisfied with that response. “I’m going to the play room now, Mommy.” At Sarah’s nod, Savannah dashed out.

  “If you ask me, it’s for the best,” Patricia said as soon as Savannah was out of earshot. “Katherine can go away now and leave us in peace. Honestly, I try to be nice, and she lies to me. She’s obviously no good, Zach, and you’d do well to get rid of her.”

  “Mom!” Sarah favored their mother with a disapproving glare, hands on her hips in an echo of her daughter. “How can you say something like that about the woman Zach is in love with?”

  Zach’s legs felt weak and he sat abruptly. He was in love with a woman who couldn’t return the emotion. What was he going to do? There had to be some way to reach her, some way to break through the barrier around her heart.

  “In love?” Patricia repeated. “He’s barely found out who she is. He can’t be in love with her.”

  Zach put his head in his hands to rub his aching temples. “I can, Mother, and I am.”

  “Oh, Zachie.” Sarah’s voice was full of approval. “That’s great.”

  “That is not great,” Patricia said, raising her voice. “You can’t possibly know already.”

  He looked into her eyes and prayed she would listen. “You promised you’d give Lilly a chance, Mother. I’m holding you to that.”

  “I promised to give Lilly a chance.” Patricia paced around the room. “I never said anything about Katherine.”

  “If you call her that again, I’m out of here,” he said quietly. “I’ll take Lilly and leave, and I’ll never come back.”

  “That’s enough,” his father said. “Cut the dramatics, both of you.” James turned to his wife. “You will be polite to Lilly, Patty. I’m not going to have a battle here. If you can’t find yourself sympathetic with all that’s happened to the poor girl, at least have a care for what your son wants.”

  “But, she’s lied to us,” Patricia protested. “James, think about your mother. She’ll never stand for this.”

  “Grandma knows,” Zach said. Weariness descended on him. Would Mother never shut up? “Grandma has always known.”

  “I don’t understand why you’re all standing behind Katherine on this,” Patricia complained. “She can’t be important enough to cause us to fight like this.”

  “Mother!” Zach shot out of his chair. “What did I just say? Her name is—”

  “Patricia’s right,” Lilly called down from the top of the stairs. “You shouldn’t fight because of me.”

  Zach looked up. Lilly stood with her hand resting on the banister. His breath caught in his throat and his heart pounded.

  Her sapphire dress hugged her slim hips and flared out into a slight bell at the bottom. She had pulled her red tresses on top of her head, but several tendrils curved down to artfully soften her face. The earrings he’d tossed down dangled from her lobes. The large gems accentuated the color of her bright eyes and drew attention to her slender neck.

  He ached to go to her, to take her in his arms. There was still anger on her face, anger mixed with sadness. Despite his misgivings, he started up the stairs. He leapt them two at a time without really being in conscious control of his feet.

  “I’m so sorry,” he said before he even reached the top. “You have to forgive me. I should have kept your secret.” He stopped on the step below her.

  Lilly reached her hand to his cheek and gently wiped away a tear he hadn’t felt fall.

  He pressed his forehead into hers and closed his eyes. “Please,” he whispered, “don’t tell me I’ve ruined everything.”

  Her hand trembled against him. She drew in a sharp breath, and Zach opened his eyes. The color drained from her face and her freckles showed beneath her makeup. She looked ready to faint, and Zach put his arms around her to steady her.

  She shook her head and a tear slid down her cheek. “I tried to tell myself that this was okay,” she whispered back. “I tried to pretend. After all, having you until January would be better than nothing. But I can’t cause problems between you and your mother. It’s not worth that.”

  “Until January? Honey, what are you talking about?”

  The sound of the doorbell recalled them to their surroundings, interrupting whatever reply she might have given.

  “My bride’s here,” Tommy called from the other room.

  “Alright, everyone,” James said. “This conversation is over for now. We are a happy, happy family and we will not embarrass Tommy.” He looked up onto the balcony at Lilly. “I’m including you in this as well.”

  Lilly nodded. “Patricia, I am sorry. I never meant to cause you any trouble.”

  Patricia shook her head and walked toward the foyer to greet the guests.

  Zach cringed. “Try not to worry about her.” He stepped aside so Lilly could descend the staircase. “Are we okay?”

  Lilly shook her head as she made her way down the steps. “I’m sorry, Zach, I don’t think we are. But this is Tommy’s day, and we need to concentrate on him. We’ll talk about this later.”

  ***

  Zach took a
bite of lasagna and rolled his shoulders, trying to relax the knot of tension in his neck. Lilly refused to sit next to him, and instead chose the seat across from him. That would have been fine, but Curtis Crandall had shown up late and made room for himself next to her.

  The bastard kept rubbing Lilly’s arm, and Zach wanted to lunge across the table and rip his head off. Lilly’s mouth was set in a prim line, and her face was very pale. Zach knew all Crandall’s touching likely scared her, but he didn’t know how to get Crandall away from her.

  Tommy wouldn’t appreciate it if Zach started a fight with a man Tommy still considered his best friend. Sometimes, Zach wished he’d told Tommy the truth about Crandall and Victoria. He wished he had told his whole family.

  Bridget sat next to her mother, whispering, as they had done for most of the dinner. So much for the manners of someone brought up in polite society. Many of their comments reached Zach’s ears, so he knew Lilly heard them.

  “The murderess made this dinner?” Mrs. Stern’s whispered question carried in the tense silence.

  Lilly’s cheeks flashed from white to red, though from embarrassment or rage, Zach couldn’t tell. However, she patted her mouth with her napkin and leaned toward Mrs. Stern.

  “Patricia helped,” she said. “We made it special, just for you.”

  Zach snorted with amusement, and next to him, Sarah did the same. That would teach them to gossip. He caught her eye and winked, but Lilly turned away from him.

  Tommy made another stab at conversation, as he’d attempted to do all night. “It’s really terrific food, Lilly,” he said. “I’m glad you agreed to help us out.”

  “Sugar pie,” Bridget whispered, though her voice was more audible than her mother’s had been. “Don’t talk to her. She’s a criminal.”

  Tommy sputtered for a moment and then leaned down to Bridget’s ear.

  She obviously didn’t like what he said, because she pouted.

  Why did Zach confide in them? He’d ruined everything. This nice little meet and greet between the families had turned into a disaster. Not to mention the damage he’d done to his and Lilly’s relationship.

  Curtis Crandall took a sip of his wine and looked around the table. “I can’t understand what’s wrong with all of you,” he said. “Lilly makes a fabulous meal and all you can do is talk badly about her? In front of her?” He snorted. “Have a little tact, won’t you?”

  Lilly turned to Crandall. “Please, it’s okay, Curtis. Don’t cause any problems.”

  He shook his head. “No, it’s not okay. Why would you say that?”

  Lilly dropped her gaze to the table, not responding. Crandall put his arm around her again, but this time Lilly didn’t pull away.

  Zach ground his teeth together. Once again, Crandall tried to move in on his woman. However, Zach knew he really should have stood up for Lilly, not leaving it open for Crandall to do so.

  Everyone sat in tense silence, eating their meal without further conversation.

  Mrs. Stern unbent enough to take a small bite of her vegetarian dish. She squished her face up as though she expected the deathblow any minute, as she chewed slowly. When she didn’t keel over, she ventured another bite. “It’s very good,” she said to Patricia. “How original of you to get a murderess to cook dinner. Of course, I’d never let her in my house. How can you be sure what she’ll do? Scary to think she has sat right next to your family and been in—”

  “That’s enough,” Margaret thundered from her place at the head of the table, apparently unable to bite her tongue. “I can’t sit here and try to be polite any longer. If you Sterns have a problem with our family, you’re welcome to leave.”

  Lilly stood abruptly from her chair. She blinked rapidly and Zach knew she fought back tears. “But I’m not family, Margaret. And Bridget will be.” She backed away from the table and grabbed her cane. “I’m so sorry. Please excuse me.”

  “Aunt Lilly?” Savannah called to her retreating back, but Lilly didn’t turn around. Savannah stood up on her chair, and pointed a finger at Mrs. Stern. “You’re mean. You hurt my Aunt Lilly.”

  “Savannah!” Sarah protested. She pulled Savannah down onto her chair. “That was very rude. Apologize to Mrs. Stern.”

  Savannah folded her arms across her chest and jutted her lip out. “I will not appoleragize, Mommy. She is a mean lady.”

  Zach stood from his own chair and threw his napkin onto his plate, drawing attention away from Savannah.

  “I have to thank you all. I’m so glad I shared private information and everyone acted like mature adults tonight. Lilly is innocent, but you refuse to see that.” Zach’s face grew hot. He took a few deep breaths to calm the rage that flowed through him. How could they have done this to him? He looked down the table and met his father’s eyes. “I will never make the mistake of trusting you again.”

  He rushed from the room. A cacophony broke out behind him, but Zach didn’t care at all what they thought of his words.

  Lilly sat in the front room. She’d hidden her face behind her hands, which quieted her soft cries.

  Zach crossed the room and sat on the floor next to her feet. “Are you okay?”

  She shook her head.

  Zach grabbed the handkerchief out of his breast pocket and handed it to her.

  “This is why I left New York.” She dabbed at her eyes. “Everyone watched me like a rabid dog, and they weren’t sure if I’d bite.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  She sighed. “I know.”

  He took her hand in his. “Then why won’t you forgive me?”

  “I do forgive you.”

  Hope filled him. “So walk back in there with me. We can face them together. If I just show them they can’t shake us, that we’re still together—”

  “No, Zach. Things aren’t that simple. Your mother will never accept me, and I didn’t see you standing up to her or the Sterns.” She sighed. “Curtis showed more consideration for me than you did.”

  Pain knifed through him. “So what we’ve shared means nothing to you then? You would throw everything away because I made a mistake?”

  Lilly touched his chin, looking deep into his eyes. “You must know how much I care for you, but it will never work. I’m the one who made the mistakes, and it changed my life forever. There will always be people like the Sterns, like your mother, who will judge me and tear me down.”

  “I don’t care about them!”

  “Maybe you mean that right now.” Lilly dropped her hand to her lap. “One day you will care. My past will cause problems in your society life, and eventually you’ll resent me. We’re just not meant to be.”

  “So what? You want Crandall instead? Is that it?” Zach jumped up from the floor to pace the room. “Or maybe you just don’t want a nice guy like me. Maybe to win your heart I need to act more like Charles.”

  Lilly gasped, and Zach turned away from her. It was a low blow, and he knew it. He’d let his anger get the best of him. She didn’t deserve him treating her as poorly as Charles had.

  “Look, I didn’t mean—”

  The sound of a throat being cleared cut off Zach’s words. “Sorry to interrupt. Things sound a little heated out here.”

  “Well, my night’s not going exactly as planned, Dad.” Zach turned to face his father. “Thanks to you.”

  “I know.” James stood in the entryway, his hands in his pockets. “Tommy and I should have kept our mouths shut until after the party. We promised to have your back, Lilly, not blab your secrets. I’ve straightened everyone out. I want you guys to stop fighting and come back in.”

  Lilly stood, not even glancing in Zach’s direction. “I’m sorry for causing embarrassment. I couldn’t do what I agreed to either.”

  James crossed the room and put his arm around her shoulders. “You’ve handled yourself very well. I’m ashamed at everyone else’s behavior.”

  “Dad,” Zach said, “we’re kind of in the middle of something here.”

  �
�No.” Lilly said. “We’re done. I think we both said more than enough.”

  “How can you say that?” Zach asked. Why wouldn’t she just tell him what was on her mind? Did she really mean to break it off with him because he made a mistake?

  Lilly took a deep breath and nodded at James. “Let’s go face the music.”

  James looked from Lilly to Zach. “Are you okay, son?”

  Zach shook his head and walked back toward the dining room. “I guess not.”

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  When they returned to the dining room, everyone pretended to be happy. The tension gradually dissipated as Tommy told stories about his and Bridget’s courtship and proposal. Finally, the focus shifted to where it was supposed to be, the happy couple.

  No one mentioned another word about Lilly’s past, but Bridget and her mother continued to glare at her. At least the whispering had stopped, but Lilly would be relieved when the party broke up and she could go home.

  After dessert, the party moved to the front room. Lilly stood alone, apart from the festivities. Bridget, Patricia, and Mrs. Stern talked in a cluster, and judging from the frequent glances in her direction, Lilly had no doubt as to the topic of their conversation.

  Zach sat on the opposite side of the room from her. She knew he was angry, and her heart ached with the pain she caused him. Lilly didn’t know what to do. They’d both said hurtful things, and she was sure Zach felt as badly for what he said about Charles as she felt for her comments about his marriage. She needed to think, and it was impossible to do with Zach so studiously ignoring her.

  Lilly slipped out of the front room into the hallway. She needed to escape Zach’s brooding and the women’s oppressive glares. She entered the dining room and slipped through the double door into the library, breathing a sigh of relief.

  “I thought I saw you sneaking away. Is everything okay?”

  Crandall’s deep voice oozed into her thoughts.

  Lilly jumped and turned around. “What can I do for you, Mr. Crandall? I appreciate you sticking up for me at dinner, but you do realize Zach told me what you did to him?” Crandall may have lost his true love, but Lilly now understood it was Zach’s wife. She felt no pity for him. “He told me what a liar and deceiver you are.”